the thread about the bullying at trumpington attracted one comment. so far, this thread has attracted none. i find that strange. i was the victim of bullying by a senior cleric, so serious that i lost my health, my job and my home. i know of very many others who are also the victims of bullying by clerics (especially by bishops), and not a few who have been bullied by their congregations. but no posts on this thread. bullying is the single most serious problem in the institution of the c of e. more widespread than homophobia, yet it seems to be the sin that dare not speak its name. most victims of bullying are so hurt by it and so frightened that they dare not speak up, even when they have removed themselves from the situation. is that what is happening here?

Poppy Tupper's comment is one of the most disturbing I have read on TA. I have no personal experience from which to comment on this, beyond observing that part of the Church of England seems to operate along the same lines as some of US academia, but perhaps more so. A "human nature"/self-righteousness thing, I suppose. No one who checks this site can imagine that the Church is immune to bullying, but this is a new one. Other readers must have first-hand experiences to contribute.

Thank you Poppy and Lapinbizarre for your comments. I am in total agreement with you, Poppy. I am an academic social psychologist doing research on bullying in the church. I care passionately about the good news of Jesus Christ who came to give us freedom. Unfortunately our churches are frequently not vehicles of that freedom. I wrote an article about Bullying in the Church in the Church Times of June 22 2007 and received a very large number of responses to it from people like you, Poppy. The good news is that churches in the UK, and especially the C of E, are taking the issue seriously and trying to do something about it.

I'm not sure how it works with TA, but if Simon would like to pass on my email address to Poppy, I would be very, very interested to hear her story.

Anne Lee's article can be found here:
http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/content.asp?id=40909

And there is a postscript to it here
http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/content.asp?id=46147

I was witness to problems in a north-central Ohio (once cardinal) Episcopal church in a county seat that had most of the disaffected parishioners using the town newspaper to smear and castigate the incumbent rector (our system is slightly different, in TEC the rector is priest-in-charge and rarely delegates this to a vicar). They held meetings off of the parish grounds and postured themselves to take over after the man had been driven out. Because of all the fracus, nobody would attend and growth was impossible.

The priest was one of many who had forced change during the turbulent times of the new prayer book. Although I call myself a traditionalist (and not necessary a conservative) the conduct of the (self) disaffected parishioners was absolutely shameful. The gentleman changed his career and now sells securities in a town the other end of the state. The church is now an aided mission, once clustered, but the feisty hateful faithful took care of that too. It was ugly and was probably the darkest hour of my faith journey.

I'm sorry this happened to you, poppy tupper.

Simon: You get a pope on a rope if you use the first link.

This is the correct one:

http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/content.asp?id=40909

Sorry, error now fixed.

There are clerical and lay bullies in the Church. One of the problems is that bullying rarely gets dealt with at all - and when it does, usually only after people and communities have been destroyed.

I can sympathize with anyone who has suffered church bullying. I was systematically bullied for two years by a 'tag-team' comprising of 2 other members of the PCC at my parish church.
When I complained it was not taken seriously and I was accused of being the one that had a " unchristian attitude".
I eventually left and went to another church as I could see it was not going to be acknowledged or dealt with effectively.

It is sad that at a time that the C of E needs all the support it can get, that there are still people (clergy & laity) that cannot see the broad picture and still want to play at parish pump politics. We are told that " a house divided against itself cannot stand" and the bullies will show that this is true by driving those that would support the Church away.
As Rome is now opening its arms to welcome unhappy Anglicans, those who bully may well find that they will soon have no more people to push about. Bullying could well be the last straw to those to whom crossing the Tiber is the only way out of a demeaning situation.

I am investigating bullying within the Church of England and would like to know if anyone can share their personal experience with me. My concern is that the Church can do whatever it likes because it writes and polices its own rules. If someone tries to stand up to a bully they are accused of being unchristian and forced to leave.

Mary - RE. your research. I'd like to share my experiences with you. I'm a Reader and very aware of the vulnerability of my position. I've come to the conclusion that the CofE is institutionally bullying. Is there a way of exchanging email addresses?

I wonder about bullying a lot. It is so subtle and directed most likely at someone who sticks out in some way and most likely cannot defend themselves. A church is an institution however powerful and fine its roots are:
Primo Levi writes about how we tend to pick on someone most eloquently
"It is an age-old observation that in every human group there is a predestined victim; one who inspires contempt, on whom, by some mysterious agreement, all unload their bad tempers and their desire to hurt. "
Essentially for me it is about our well being and perhaps anyone with real psychological insecurities is vulnerable in a church - I don't know.

I know the pain of being bullied. I seem to be one of life's punchbags, and although I have done my very best to change this situation in the past few years, by being as friendly as I can to others around me, I found that the bullying was still happening.
I guess that some people just see me as quiet and very vulnerable.
In the end there is not a lot I can do to change my personality, and since groups always seem to have a scapegoat amongst them, I now tend to keep away from crowds or groups of people.
It is the best solution in the long term, although it can get lonely sometimes.

Victoria,
I think you have summed it all up very eloquently.
Bullying IS insidious and by the time the victim has realised what is happening the damage has been done.
I always thought that a Church, and I use the word "Church" to represent a group of people who are supposed to be united in Christ, should be able to support each other.
Unfortunately I have found that this is not the case.
In my experience in the C of E cliques are abundant while Christian values are sadly lacking.

"My concern is that the Church can do whatever it likes because it writes and polices its own rules. If someone tries to stand up to a bully they are accused of being unchristian and forced to leave."

Mary's comment of a year ago has resonances with me. For years my husband and I put up with the rude, intrusive remarks from 2 PCC Members until I could stand it no more. I finally challenged them and their response was that they were, basically, allowed to say these things because they were "family friends" ( ! ) This was a claim they were hard-pressed to substantiate as my parents died before either of these individuals started attending the church.
My husband & I have now left the church and joined another. "God works in a mysterious way" they say, as it is true. We are now part of a church where we are made to feel welcome and safe and our spiritual lives have been enriched.
IMO There is no such thing as "bad" churches, only churches with dysfunctional members.